It’s funny how good things happen to those who are not searching for them. I guess there’s a good reason behind that and no, it does not involve ‘luck’.
I think it’s all about your expectations. If you want something to happen, if you expect something to happen so you can feel better, or gasp, even happy, they that’s probably not gonna happen. Expectactions create a dangerous loop in your head.
Either you lower your expectations or you abandon them at all. For me, someone who has high expectations of people, all I would get is disappointment. If you have no expectations from people then people can not hurt you. Misanthropic? Probably. Did that work? Hell yea.
The version of me who is emotionally undetached from anything could easily die today, at 30 something as a *happy* man. That version of me has fulfilled almost all of his fantasies, had a great time in the meanwhile, met tons of interesting people and helped people get through with their problems.
Then emotions kick in. All hell breaks loose. For someone who sounds so cynical, I can be quite emotional. Damn it. Emotions fight my (high) sense of logic. They do not always win, but even that fight leaves me a wreck. Emotions create expectations. And I’ve already explained where that leads to. Disappointment.
On a side note, have you seen ‘Shame’? If not, please do. It’s a great study on sexual addiction from the male point of view. Sure, I like watching female-pov films as it gives me an insight on how women think and operate, but damn it, a male-pov was due!
Why do I mention that? Well, I might have slipped in. I mean it’s strange. I do not feel the need to pursue sex, or even have sex and I’m sure that I radiate a “keep away” aura around me. And for some fucked up reason that attracts women? Argh?
3 sexual encounters with 3 different partners in one night can only mean one thing for me:
Goodbye emotions. We’ll meet again sometime, I can’t get away from you. But for now, hello detachment!
p.s. Yes, I’m taking a break from the findom world. One can only get too much of people thinking that guys owe them everything just because they state that they are Financial Dommes. Whoa!
I’m still playing with my beloved Princess, but I’m not sure if I’m forcing myself to do so, or just enjoy playing with her. Time will tell. Until next time fellow pervs!